FUCK THIS.

YOU DON'T CARE YOU DON'T CARE YOU DON'T CARE YOU DON'T CARE.

I ALREADY FEEL LIKE I CAN'T TALK TO YOU. THANKS FOR NOT CARING AND SAYING, "OH, VENTING IS BAD. SHUT UP, IT'S A WASTE OF TIME." FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE. YOU DON'T CARE, YOU NEVER HAVE CARED, YOU NEVER WILL CARE.

YOU JUST WANT ME TO BE A PRETTY HAPPY FUCKING PRINCESS. I'LL NEVER BE THAT. GET FUCKING USED TO IT, BITCH! THINGS WOULD BE BETTER IF WHEN YOU ACTUALLY ASK, "WHAT'S WRONG" YOU FOLLOWED IT WITH SYMPATHY INSTEAD OF A LECTURE. NOW YOU WON'T EVEN BE ASKING "WHAT'S WRONG" ANYMORE. OR MAYBE YOU WILL, BUT I WON'T TELL YOU, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYWAYS. YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SHOW FRUSTRATION. ONLY "RANT TO THE AIR" IN THE ISOLATION THAT'S BECOME MY LOATHSOME SOULMATE FOR THIS FUCKING YEAR.

AND YOU WONDER WHY I'M LYING TO YOU AND WON'T SHARE THINGS WITH YOU? IT'S BECAUSE OF BULLSHIT LIKE THIS WHERE YOU SHOW SO PLAINLY THAT YOU'LL NEVER TREAT ME AS A HUMAN BEING OR BE CIVIL WITH ME UNLESS IT'S ON YOUR TERMS.

i wish i didn't cry over this anymore. i'm sick of crying over how much you suck as a parent, mom.