I'm back.

Well, here I am again. I survived Mori no Ike, though it proved to be difficult at some points.

Some big news is that I now have a job. Every day of this school year--except for days off of school and days I am ill--I have the job of watching and waking up three elementary school kids. They are: The six year old Garret, the eight year old Riley, and the ten year old Gwyn. All spellings are guesses.

Garret has Downs, but so far I can tell he's pretty bright. The doctors say that he has the mind of a five year old...yet the school says he has the mind of a three year old. That says enough to me that he realizes that he can get away with doing nothing by fooling the teachers and other students into thinking that he's much dumber than he actually is. Plus, when I was visiting at the family's house today, I heard Garret talk a lot. It was a little hard to understand him, but I've encountered tons of kids who are hard to understand (Ems' little brother, anyone?), so it's not unusual.

Apparently--from what the parents said--Garret was having one of those days when, "it's as if he woke up with two horns." I'm glad that I got to see him at his sassiest and most crabby state, because that way I knew what the worst was. I got him to listen to me a few times when need-be. One example: when the family drove me home and they stuck around a bit, Garret went into the neighbors' yard to play on their playset. I got him back into my yard, with no physical force nessassary. I just had to sternly tell him to get back to my yard. Yay!

One cool thing about this job is...once I'm done buying all the DVDs and CDs I've wanted for a while, I'm definitely going to be able to purchase my own cell phone. YES! Now, I'm still not sure whether I'll want the acoustic version of Passionate Days or Karenai Hana as my ringtone...I'm just so giddy. ^-^ I get my own cell phone...and I pay for it myself! Independence rules!

Andrea: I'm sorry I haven't been on AIM. I've been really busy recently and it's too much for me at the moment to stick on the computer for extended periods of time. It's easier to reach me by email at the moment.

Melty and Jenn: Thank you for your words of encouragement on my angsty post. It means so much to me that people who I am close to care.

I'm going to take a shower now. Then I'm busy again tomorrow.

P.S. Don't ask me how much I'm making. I'll feel bad if I tell you. 8D I'm just happy that I'm getting paid to take care of kids.

Well, leaving in an hour or so...

Just finished putting address labels on all twenty postcards I'm going to send off.

I'm still silently "cursing" Uncle Sven for having such a long last name, because I had to address the postcards to HIM instead of him and Jenn. :P

I'm pretty sure that Mori no Ike is gonna be FUN, FUN, FUN! :D But I can't help but feeling that two weeks is a bit long...but anyways! I just have to do my best, then everything is just going to be GREAT! Mori no Ike is really an amazing place and I'm so glad I get to be a part of it!

(Sarah P. is probably the only one who would get that whole paragraph. It just has to be said in the right tone and then you get the reference. You also have to have seen Kaleido Star...)

Yeah, I better go finish stuff up...

See you all later!

Leaving for camp in two days!

Just got home from the State Fair, it was fun. I'm a little tired, though. I guess that's what I get when I stay up 'till 10:30 reading about Rare(ware) on Wikipedia...but video game companies are so interesting! :D

I'm mostly packed for Mori no Ike, I just have a few more things, some last minute and such...

To the anonymous commenter, Adam: Thanks for the comment. I think I may AIM you, but unless I AIM you today (8/4/06) or tomorrow, then please don't to get an AIM from me until around the 20th or 21st. I will be at Mori no Ike from the 6th until 20th, I think. Once again, thank you for your comment.

No emoness here.

For those who care about me, I apologize for any concern I caused over my last post. I tend to hide things from myself and others, and when I see something that exposes the truth, I snap. It's really lame, I know that, I'd like to change the way I act in general.

I think I'm gonna be stressed over the next couple of days, preparing for Mori no Ike. Just really busy...

I can't really think of anything else to say.

I don't get it.

I just feel like I can't communicate my problems to people. Something always holds me back, saying that I'm just going to mess something up by sharing my thoughts and feelings.

I was in the middle of reading something last night when it all just came out. What I was reading reminded me of my own life, my own problems, and I hated that. It reminded me that I don't share all of my thoughts with those I'm closest to. That I'm afraid that I'll bother them, since they have their own problems.

I just cried. I attempted to phone someone, but I don't think he answered. I still feel like crying this morning.

It's just...all my life, I've had it rammed into me that I shouldn't inconvenience people. Isn't telling a person my problems inconveniencing him/her? I don't know what to think or what to do. And even when people tell me that I can tell them things, I feel like they're lying to me. How could someone actually mean that? I don't get it.

I've never been able to help people I'm close to, who're depressed. I wasn't able to help Tim, I still can't help Mom, I can't help a friend...I can't even help my self.

I better end this now. I have a message to go to. I wish I didn't...I'd rather be in my bed.