A request

So, I'm here with Arielle and I just showed her the amazingly crappy and disturbing Richard Horvitz chatspeak fangirl poem I wrote back in August. She has requested that I write one with chatspeak about Christmas. I am happy to oblige.

an xmas poem
bi acey m
12/28/2007

i sit heer @ teh xmas trei
cryin undur it's borkin lites
cuz i no
how mcuh dis xmas suxed

i gut evryting i wnated
n moar
but taht dindt stahp
teh holedei hororz

todei i put en mai 2nd disk
Of the Super Amazing Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy Season 1 Set
adn 2 mai despleezur
eet was blenk leik an intrenit trolls haed

nd tuhs i set
loanly n sed
sense nobdoy cna eez
mai turmentid sole

End.

True story, actually. As I sat here, NOT CRYING, the only holiday tragedy I could think of was the fact that my second disc of my Billy & Mandy set has nothing written on it. Which is totally lame and full of EPIC FAIL.

By the way, apparently I passed Arielle's test with flying colors. 8D She wouldn't "stahp" giggling as I wrote it.

I should start teaching classes--and charge massive amounts of cash--to people who want to learn my super fantastic skillz. Or I could just keep them to myself and let the art belong solely to me. Muwahahaha!

I think I have writer's block

I want to write, I love my characters. But...I can't. It's like the passion is gone. I love my characters, but it seems like I don't care about them, if that makes any sense.

What can I do to get myself able to write my story again? Is there some sort of trick? Or can I not because I'm continually stiffled by my home enviroment, and so much of my energy and creativity is spent just trying to laugh at it all and get through all of my days?

It's true I tend to write better in the morning or afternoon. Could that be because I actually have the energy to do it? This last June, when my parents were gone for several days, I was able to write a roughly 10k word fanfic over the course of a few days.

It's just now...I feel so incredibly depressed. Could it be that no matter how much I dream, no matter how much I want it, these things are unattainable? That I can't finish this story before college? That I don't possess the energy nor patience nor ability to complete it due to my undesired circumstances?

I think I need to be doing some major re-thinking, and go back to find someone that I've forgotten. Someone I thought I could do without. Because I don't want to let myself wallow here and let myself become a victum of my situations.

Well, you know what?

Fuck you, messed up sleep patterns!

I mean, I would say "insomnia," but the fact of it is that I don't have insomnia. I have Delayed Sleep Onset, and I completely messed up my sleep schedule by staying at the Krajnak's Christmas party 'till 1 AM yesterday and sleeping in until 10:40 AM.

As such, I went to bed at around 8:30 PM and probably slept for a few of hours. 'Cause I know it was around 2 AM when I saw what time it was and couldn't stand it anymore.

So, today I'm going to remain awake until it's 9 PM, then I go to bed.

But the thing that sucks about this arrangement is that absolutely nothing is on TV this early in the morning. Just a bunch of crappy paid programming about various, sometimes non-nonsensical house supplies, finances, and losing weight.

Thus, here I am. On my brother's laptop. Writing a blog entry. In my Mickey Mouse PJs. Snuggled up in a purple, butterfly blanket. Drinking Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. At 4:30 in the freaking morning.

Giggle and snort if you like at my misfortune, because I agree that there's plenty of humor to this. It just really, really bites ass at the moment.

I'm going to see if I have any written creativity.

Oh, Merry Christmas Eve, everybody.

Some examples of that wangsty material

My parents are friggin' ridiculous. Completely unempathetic. The only people I know who can manage to get in an argument over the minor things I got incorrect in Geometry tests. The worst about those minor things is how minor they really are--a point off on problems!

Dad is a complete ass when it comes to teaching, thank God that he isn't the one teaching me. He was supposed to go over my tests with me and explain what I did wrong. What did he actually do? He tested me on the problems I got wrong, to see if I could get them right, and then gave me long, drawn-out redundent lectures on the particular mistake I was making.

With him continuing to do that...over and over again...I exploded. I ended up pissed at both of my parents and primarily arguing with Dad for an hour. I think it's ended, but now I just feel drained, depressed, and kinda want to either crawl up in a ball and die or go over to a friend's to escape.

And...my mother...ugh.

"That frustration you feel?" she said after the argument ended, looking at me with her wide, self-pitying eyes. "Just multiply that by five hundred and you know what I go through all the time."

Nothing better to top off a shitty afternoon than being told by your own flesh and blood that your feelings are insignificent compared to theirs. I mean, it's not that I think what I go through is worse than hers, or my feelings are more important. But, damnit, couldn't she just say something like, "Oh, honey, I know," and hug me or something? Why is my mom so oblivious that she can't even do that one freaking thing right?

Oh, I even confirmed with Mom that that was what she meant. I even told her, "that's not very comforting."

Her initial response?

"What, that I have to go through all that horrible stuff on a daily basis?"

"No, that your frustration is apparently greater than mine." (I said something to that effect)

"Oh, well, I guess it did, because that's what I honestly meant."

So...yeah. There's no way I could even hope to write, feeling the way I do now.

I wish Josh and Tim were here.

An IM snippet

Tsumirechan (7:59:09 PM): My life is just full of lawl like that
ConfusedMeNot (7:59:26 PM): yes
ConfusedMeNot (7:59:35 PM): your parents would drive me insane
Tsumirechan (7:59:25 PM): I know you're so jealous :P
Tsumirechan (7:59:52 PM): All the emu gawfs would die to be in my shoes--they would have better wangsting material!
ConfusedMeNot (8:00:14 PM): hahaha XD

Geeking out

I was watching As Told By Ginger, I actually just finished. It was the holiday episode when Ginger finds out that she's one-quarter Jewish.

Imagine my surprise when I'm just innocently watching and the sound of a bit character's voice catches my ear. Could it be? I wonder, then rewind and rewatch. It is. A Jewish boy talking to Ginger at her school was voiced by Richard Horvitz! I totally geeked out. The credits confirmed my accuracy. 8D

Also, I finished my project today! Yay! Andrea, since it's late over here, I'm taking the picture of it tomorrow, and I'll show it to you then. I'm so excited!

Mmmhmm, I am now a professional actress!

No autographs, please. ;)

Mom gave me a letter today that she got in the mail yesterday. It was address to me, from ACAP. It was a thin letter, and I opened it up.

What did I find? A fifty-friggin' dollar check for me from the Wizard of Oz: Unplugged performance I did in Madison!

And, with this check, Sarah's check for me from babysitting, and the allowence money I'm getting from Mom, I'll be adding a bit over 100 dollars to my checking account. And above all...

I'll no longer be in debt for all the Christmas presents I've got people! Yes!

I think I'll celebrate by buying something. XD;

Well, now I'm going to finish watching As Told By Ginger and then start working on my little project. <3

*rawrs and hisses silently about a chick who made a blog post about pirating Psychonauts*

Happy December(ween)

Interesting stuff has happened over the last few days...

And this year is going to be known as, "the year that Acey got really creative with the To/From tags."

Why? Because my mom asked me if I would wrap presents, since she doesn't like doing it, and I thought she was offering to pay me. Apparently she wasn't, but wasn't unwilling to pay me anyway (though she did call me a mercenary). So, I've been wrapping all the presents that are for the boys and my parents, for a Psychonauts t-shirt. The shirt is amazing, by the way. I'm wearing it right now.

BUT, since I've been writing all the gift tags...after a while, writing things like "To: Josh, From: Mom & Dad" gets dreadfully boring. My solution? Things like:

To: Josh
From: SANTA
and his little helpers, yeah?

And,

To: Tim
From: yo momma
and pops

My dad has also received a gift from BABY Jesus (notice how the word "baby" was randomly written in all capitals) and SANTA! (I actually wrote the exclamation point, too)

Really, I don't think the humor is really in what I'm writing, but the varying sizes in which I'm writing them (see Josh's). I'm fully prepared to be called a dork numerous times by my brothers. Especially because I did this all for a nerdy t-shirt.

P.S. I was personally thrilled at the packaging for the shirt, because my address was hand written on the label. I know that this was because the company is rather small, but I found it to be very cool, very personal, because every letter was carefully scribed. I guess I was also thrilled because my last name was spelled correctly, which is a common, sloppy mistake that I'm glad wasn't there.