Fuck you.

Just fuck you, God. Fuck you for having me wake up this morning. I just want to fall asleep and stay like that.

I'm just an endless disappointment to everyone. They'd get over it if I was gone. Just watch. Eventually it'd be, "Amanda who? Oh, yeah. That was too bad. Oh, well, life goes on."

I just shouldn't be here anymore. I'm a waste, a waste of everyone's time and investment. I can't make them happy, I can't make me happy, I can't do anything, especially anything remotely right or good.

But I'm a fucking coward. If I know that everything would be better without me gone, then why am I so scared? ...it'll pass, I suppose. The last minute thoughts will go. I don't know when I'll act, but it'll happen. eventually.

i'm a fucking horrible person anyways.