My favorite flavor popsicle is orange

Lots of things going on...and will be going on.

So, the past few days. The class at Pamela's Place was boring. Very boring. It took three hours. After it, I was practically crying--I still wasn't feeling well--and I was so tired.

I also had a mini meltdown on Friday. I'm just getting so sick and tired of being little miss petite. I'm 5'4'' and 88 lbs. Hardly anything fits me just right that hangs on a clothes rack and places like Joann's don't sell patterns that sew for anything smaller than a size six! How does that work for a stupid zero or one like me? Plus with me liking more conservative clothes...stuff on the rack that does fit is generally far too low-cut. I don't like to openly display everything God gave me, kthxbai. Sigh...

I guess I've just been in a slump lately, I think my cold has a huge part in it. It's just...times like these, I feel useless. Like I can't accomplish anything, no matter how hard I try or how much I want it. All I feel capable of is looking through the window that separates me and my role models and dreaming wistfully.

I guess one thing I wish I could do would be to talk to one of these people I admire and hear from them that I actually have creativity and that I have what it takes to get in the business. I just feel like I need some more affirmation and a push in the right direction to get me out of this life-sucking ditch I'm stuck in.

I go on college visits next week, and John Cramer wants me to speak briefly at the Gala that the WCT is putting on for the big donors for the theater. It's for the auction bit, he wants me to explain the part where they aren't auctioning anything except a donation to the ACT program at the theater. John thinks I'm a perfect fit to do it, because he can remember a time where Doug could hardly get me to speak during the Improvisational class. I don't remember that, but I don't really mind the idea of telling people why the theater is worthwhile.

I asked Mom to ask John about the status of the MoHos idea--apparently when she asked he "smiled," meaning he hasn't gotten to it yet. I understand that John is very busy...I guess next time I see him I'll just flat out tell him that since it was my idea in the first place, if he wants me to help out in any way regarding it, I will! I mean, any chance at meeting Richard Horvitz or Fred Willard...who wouldn't jump at that?

I can't think of anything else to write. I just hope that maybe the college visits next week won't overwhelm me and instead may give me an overdue boost of confidence.